A Menagerie of Outspoken Opinions on Science, World Politics, and Geek Culture

Wednesday, October 26, 2005

Two months away from Blogging, and I have to follow hot chicks in revealing Costumes

Ain't no way I can follow that. Best I can do is mention porn in here, but if you're looking for smokin' ladies, scroll down to the last post.

I can say "ain't" now because I live in the South again. South Carolina to specify. Spent the last two months moving, living in a hotel, buying a house and finally, FINALLY getting internet hooked up in said house.

Gotta say, it's been great not having interet. Well, except for the dearth of porn. Read a couple books. Got into a workout routine again. Traveled! Up to Virginia a couple times. Down to Savannah a couple of times. Over to Road Atlanta to watch my Uncle Larry and Cousin Cindy race vintage race cars. (bug-eye Sprite & Astin Mini if you're wondering.) I didn't miss reading news. I missed my blog reading a bit, but the bickering had gotten old, the jokes a little stale. Missed being able to email without worrying that work was monitoring some of my less delicate moments. In the end of course, the Porn Must Flow, so here I am, online and easy-news enabled.

What do I find in the first news story I click on at home? Well of course, a story about Bush getting blamed for another natural disaster.

Now, call me crazy (crazy - ed.)but I happen to agree with Gov. Bush when he states:

"People had ample time to prepare. It isn't that hard to get 72 hours worth of food and water," said Bush, repeating the advice that officials had given days before Wilma hit.

In the real world (as viewed through the hip shades of the media,) Ms. Shaw's three hours of procrastination induced headache certainly trumps 72 hours of warnings:

"This is like the Third World," said Claudia Shaw, who spent several hours in a gas line. "We live in a state where we suffer from these storms every year. Where is the planning?"

Yeah. Just like those Ethiopians we are, eh Ms. Shaw? Why, if I had a nickel for every Ethiopian that had to wait 3 hours to fill his Honda... well I still wouldn't be able to pay a meter. So I'd probably find a non-metered site and walk an extra block or two to the watering hole. Not that I'm laughing. Much.

I did have to laugh at what the press deemed superlative efforts by individuals affected by the storm, with tales of such heroism as these two gems:

Storm-savvy Floridians resorted to their ingenuity. At one Wal-Mart, 30 people sat on the sidewalk while they used the store's outside electrical outlets to recharge their cell phones.

Yeah! A nod to the Noble Savage(tm) philosophy with a contemporary flair on the "hunter-gatherer" concept. AND sticking it to the man by stealing his electricity. These guys are the new cool.

At one gas station, a man went car-to-car selling fuel from a 10-gallon plastic tank. The price was $20 for about a gallon, and people happily paid.

I gotta know... exactly what do you need a gallon of gasoline so damned bad for that you're willing to pay 20 bucks for it? Wow. 20 bucks for what, 30 miles if you're lucky? With 20 bucks I could pay the cover and have a close encounter with 10 hot women. That's 20 nekkid breastseses for those who keep count. Hell, with 20 bucks and a 72 hour headstart, I could have bought that gallon of gas, a case of beer, a roll of paper towels and a bottle of aspirin. There's worlds of possiblities in that Andrew Jackson my friends. With a little personal responsibility and imagination, you could have spent that three hours you blew in line watching other people freak out while you sit back and mellow out.

In the end however, Gov Bush takes responsibility when none else will. Just how often do you see a local politician say something like this:

"Don't blame FEMA. This is our responsibility," Bush said at a news conference in Tallahassee with federal Homeland Security Secretary Michael Chertoff, who oversees the agency.

Nice try Governor, but it ain't gonna work. We all know it's your brother's fault.