A Menagerie of Outspoken Opinions on Science, World Politics, and Geek Culture

Friday, May 07, 2004

Power Corrupts: A Filthy Lie About Glen Reynolds' First Posts

August 3, 2001

Hmmm. I seem to be alone in this vast, empty … sphere. This vast, empty, web log sphere. Weblogosphere? Blogosphere! Indeed.

I am Glen the Fair and Compassionate, ruler of the blogosphere! In my capable hands, it shall be a realm of justice and kindness for all eternity!

August 4, 2001

Today I have brought my best friends with me into the blogosphere, because it’s so lonely. This is Patches the Puppy, and over here is Hobo Bob. Here Patches, have a Snausage™. Hobo Bob, why don’t you lay your head down on this nice soft pillow. There you go.

What shall I do now, as master of this realm? So much … power. Why, I can do anything! I can use this blender to make strawberry daiquiris, and this baseball bat to make, uh … smashed strawberries! No one can tell me otherwise!

August 5, 2001

[Smash! Smash!] Ha ha! I am wantonly smashing helpless strawberries! I am on my seventeenth daiquiri! I am beyond the reach of the laws of man!

Why, I could even … pinch this puppy. No one can stop me, but dare I step into the abyss?

[Pinch! Pinch!] “Yipe! Yipe!”

Excellent. Excellent, indeed! Hobo Bob, bring more strawberries and rum for my mighty blender! Patches, prepare for frequent pinchings at random intervals! I am Glen, Ruler of the Blogosphere, and my word is law!

August 6, 2001

Mmmm. Red and frothy, just like a daiquiri. But better! Full of sweet, sweet helplessness and trust forever betrayed. There is no other drink fit for the Ruler of All Blogdom.

What’s that, Hobo Bob? Mad, you say? Mad with power? Well, I may be mad with power, but at least I’m not getting my head smashed in with a baseball bat!

[Smash! Smash!]

Muwahahahhahaha! Muwahahahahaha, indeed!

August 7, 2001

It seems that Patches the Puppy had some comments yesterday about getting blended:

“Bark! Bark! Yipe yipe yipe! Gurgle!”

Yes, Patches, gurgle all you like. Hobo Bob also had something to say too, but about being beaten to death with a baseball bat:

“You’re mad Reynolds! Mad with power! But one day an Alliance will rise to stop you, and freedom will prevail in the blogosphere! I have forseen it in a MD 20/20 vision! Aieeeeee!”

An Alliance? Hmmm. Not likely.

Tomorrow I’ll have something about, oh, the music industry maybe. Or antitrust law. What the hell, why not both?

[ed. note: for those unfamiliar with the blog wars and evil Glen, go here.]